oh my lord, this is just like with B. only this time it's his best friend..yes that's right, I'm going back to talking about my crush in my blogs. i don't know what it is about him.. no one saw this coming.. not even me. I guess i should go back to how this started. a few weeks ago i went to the park with becca. surprisingly (for me at least) a lot of people in grade 7 & 8 were there! so the guy that i now like was there a long with a person in his class and a guy who does our DVPA. They were playing lacrosse. then his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend came and she was all over her new boyfriend. we were watching them and the guy i like. he looked to crushed to see it. he liked/likes(?) her a lot. and it was just really pathetic. i felt really sorry for him. The next day st school i saw him playing lacrosse again and for some reason my eyes were just drawn to him. like i couldn't look away.. well i did, but when ever i could, i would look away from what we were doing to watch him. i even got hit in the head with a soccer ball once or twice. i guess i was just trying to figure out what i was thinking about. like i NEVER thought about him that way. but i knew i was having feelings towards him. but i couldn't. i wouldn't let myself accept it! i was dating Garrett. and i really liked him. well the truth is, i was living a lie with him. I started to like him. that night luckily me and garrett broke up, but still only two people knew who i liked. it wasn't long before the normal people to know knew.
i guess i can skip a bit of time here to the community dinner. I didn't know that he was working.. well i didn't know that a lot of the people who were working were going to. so anyway, he was supposed to be a server, but they had enough of them so he became a waiter. and i was a waitress. so we were kind of near each other a lot. it was kind of cool. and when we were hanging out in the entrance a lot of people were there and i was standing right beside him.. god he's tall! rofl. so someone almost pushed me into him. i think that if they did i would like die!
I have been noticing him a lot lately. and i have realized that he comes into our class a lot. it's kind of weird now. i guess this leads me to today. but first in french me and steph and rebecca were totally shit disturbers lmfao. it was funny. our teachers kept getting mad at us and i had to spit out my gum. it wasn't cool cause no one ever catches me :(. so anyway in art he came in the art room and stayed for like 20 minutes. and when he did this is how mine and steph's conversation went.
her: is your heart racing ? me: why? her: because look who just walked in. me: oh yea i know. her:so is it ? me: maybe a little. her: ok let me see your face.. omg you're so red. me: oh god! her: don't worry he doesn't know it's about him me: i don't care. i feel sick!
it was nerve wracking and he kept looking at me and i was probably BRIGHT red and i didn't want him to see!! for once i DIDN'T want to catch him looking at me!! and i noticed that he looks at me a lot. like i'm pretty sure that he doesn't like me, cause like he really likes his ex, plus it's me. like it would be nice if he liked me too :D but i'm almost positive that he doesn't. i just kind of want to know.. i think..
ok well anyway to explain my title. i have been listening to this song: be my escape by Relient K. and the chorus goes like 'I've been housing all this doubt, and insecurities, i've been locked inside that house, all the while you hold the key. and i've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me, and even though there's no way of know way of knowing where to go i promise i'm going because i've got to get out of here I'm stuck inside this rut i fell into by mistake I've go to get out of here and I'm begging you I'm begging you I'm begging you to be my escape.' and that's like my life. I hate living here, and i want somewhere to escape this. and if i was with him, or even when i think about him it's like all of the pressure and stress is lifted even if only for a second.
i really want to know.. but at the same time i don't. because if he doesn't i don't want to know, because i really like him and i don't want to stop.. but i want to know if he does.. idk it's complicated..
-xo Laura♥
Monday, April 28, 2008
you are the only one who can set me free.. if only you knew..
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Posted by laura xo at 9:15 PM
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5 comments:
Now understand, this remark isn't aimed at you, and you're younger, so its perfectly fine for you to act this way. The thing that always bugged me was girls who had different crushes every week. They really drive me crazy; in addation to ripping out peoples hearts. So its fine for you to have an unsettled mind, there's lots of time for thinking, but later on, don't let people think you're really serious if you only want to be with them for a week.
Ok, remember, thats not for you. I'm just bitter. Do you know what I mean? I make a mistake or live through it so I tell/warn someone else? I'm not making sense am I?
Don't worry. You'll turn out fine. What the hell am I talking about. Dear lord, I'm going insane. I really want to be with my ex, but I have not spoken with her in 2 years. I have no idea what to do about it.
Don't let it trouble you; Victoria needs some sleepy time.
well I'm not really always the kind of person that changes her crushes a lot. i have had a crush on the same guy for 2 months. and i don't usually call someone a crush unless i really have feelings for them.
but i know that some people think that i change my crush a lot just because i don't tell them i changed it.
hey im the kinda girl who changes there crushes every 2 seconds but usually i dont rip peoples hearts out lol ,and well ouch that osunds awful damn i feel bad now thaks victoria, (JK)
and jesse mccartney is hot lmfao thats kinda random though!
no becca. he's really not!
he is so!!!! tee hee
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