you're not making this any easier..

I feel so bad right now. Well I'm happy that me and Paul have settled our difference! I'm really happy about that! But i feel bad about him..
I told him that this morning i was sad cause i found out that the guy i like likes someone else. But he used to like me, and i liked someone else and now i like him and he likes someone else. Well he made me tell him and i was just like 'I like you.....' and he really didn't make it any easier for me. one thing i really wish he did say was 'i would date u but i like someone else a lot'... oh my god..
rip my heart out,
and stomp it to the ground.
It's not like you care,
it's not bringing you down.

I write this now just for you.
Have me at the point of breaking
but i can't break through.
my heart is aching.
I'm almost in tears.

don't talk to me like you don't know it hurts cause you do.
You know exactly how i fell.
for only a month ago you you felt it too.

ok if you comment on this i don't care if you like the poem! he's talking to me like he doesn't know how much pain I'm in, or like he doesn't know how awkward it is for me. It was nice to think of what we could be. I mean in my head it was so perfect! Well nothing is perfect. I knew this would happen.. he just signed off and didn't even say bye. people say nothing ventured nothing gained, but nothing ventured nothing lost either! I hate how this is working out for me!
So this is why i avoided love last year! I guess i forgot how much it hurt. This is so much less glamorous than the people on TV make it out to be! Why isn't this easy for me? What have i done to be so bad at life! I don't care if you think I'm being emo or whatever you want to think! Because i don't care.
What hurts the most is that i like him so much! no one even knows how much i like him! Not even him. I hate this!!!
-xo Laura♥

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