ahaha sorry.

this is kind of a rewrite of last night's blog. i was in a rush to go to bed. so i'll explain what happened and what i meant. so i'll just start over.

i kinda sorta wish i could hear your voice, i kinda sorta wish you didn't have to leave, i kinda sorta wish you didn't care i was so loud, i kinda sorta wish i gave you a hug before you left, i kinda sorta wish i saw you more often, i kinda sorta wish you were here beside me, because i kinda sorta have a thing for you...

so last night i was just in my mom's room watching tv, and stephanie and one of our other friends came to my door, and we went out. we went to this giant gazibo (sp?) near my house and some other people came later. it was weird how fast people came out of no where. haha so anyway, then he came and i didn't know at this point. i'm not entirely sure when i started to like him, but somewhere during the night, i wanted to get closer to him. so the gazibo is right beside this restrant/bar and we were LOUD and talking about sex and stuff and we were all laughing and stuff and i think that the people probably thought we were drunk/high cause people go there to get drunk and high, but we wern't. so he kept saying stuff like 'do you not notice the people over there.. staring?' haha but it was really funny. well he has to go and i was kinda dissapointed, but i still had fun.

i still don't know if he should know. i mean if he doesn't like me i don't want to mess up our friendship.. idk what to do :S HELP!

laura.xx !

i kind sorta...

i kinda sorta wish i could hear your voice, i kinda sorta wish you didn't have to leave, i kinda sorta wish you didn't care i was so loud, i kinda sorta wish i gave you a hug before you left, i kinda sorta wish i saw you more often, i kinda sorta wish you were here beside me, because i kinda sorta have a thing for you...

okay guys, it's been about two weeks, it was fun, but guess what?! i like someone! i know shocker right? haha well it's kinda good, but also kinda bad. i guess i'm just asking too much. and no, i'm not talking about wanting edward cullen. haha, though i wish i could meet someone like him, let's face it girls, not every shiny silver volvo you see is going to pull up beside you while you're getting cat calls from random strangers, and the doors aren't going to open to reveil an impossibly gorgeous vampire there to save your day (now i say not every one, cause there's always that hope!) haha well what i meant was that i wanted someone i went to school with, but also someone who lived near me. but that's kind of a rediculious request. so i decided someone who lived close was what i wanted more. so i guess that's what's good about it. he lives close. the bad thing is.. he's kinda.. my best friend's cousion..

i mean she was the first person i told, and she seems cool with it, and i'm sure she is. it's just gonna be weird, cause i would feel awkward talking about him to her. which i do a lot with my crushes. but i can deal. i just don't know if he should know i like him, or if it'll just pass :S

anyway i should go to bed, i just had to let you guys know my blog might get intresting again! haha

laura.xx !

lost in staples ?

haha so todday was regestration, and it was soo funny. there were literally like four other people regestering when i went. it was like at the end so everyone went in the day i guess. so it took us like less than 20 minutes. i found my locker, and it's kind of messed up. like the bottom shelf is all dented :( oh well. so then i went to the mall, and it was pretty fun haha. i got two pairs of skinnies (i was soo close to getting hot pink ones) and a hoodie from urban planet, and a $50 element backpack from boathouse. haha! then i went to staples and i had noo idea what to get :S so my mom and sister-in-law-to-be told me stuff i needed, so i'm talking to anna now about what i didn't get.

SCHOOL TUESDAY!! I'm finially excited! haha. ugh ugh uhg. i wish we could skip tomorrow!! then it'll be the weekend and something good is happening. then skip monday then SCHOOL :D!!!! haha sorry. i guess i was worried about regestration more than high school itself. ahhhh! and OH! MY! GOD!!!! hottt boy! lmao i saw a hot guy that is in grade nine, and one that is in grade 11 :D hahaha. sorry, i'm pumped! i'm gonna go now though.

laura.xx !

ahhh :'(

why are people so horrible? i'm already stressed enough, i really don't need this! okay so here's what's going on. there's this girl, who's turning into arden! and i really don't want to fight with her, i don't want to be her friend right now either, but i just don't want us to be horrible to eachother. because i know what she can do. she's friends with one of my best friends, i don't want to get her in the middle of it. i'm not gonna bitch about her to my friend.. or anyone. cause i don't care. but she might. and she might fuck up one of the best friendships i've ever had!

kay sorry, i just had to vent. i've been crying for like half an hour already.

my heart is pretty fast pase, can you keep up?

err, even my dreams are reminisant of the past! it was weird, i don't really remember it, all i remember is that it was me and stephanie and some random guy, and we were in the parking lot of my new school, but our old teachers were there. it was weird. so last night i couldn't get to sleep, so i scavenged my medicine cabnett and ccan you believe we don't have any cough syrup (don't care how unhealithy that is) and i looked up sleeping techniques and one was counting backwards from 100, and that actually worked, but the weird thing was what i pictured. kay so when we were in girls inc, we did this thing where we would relax and picture ourselves in a place we feel safe. mine was a forest in plymouth, england i saw on tv once, i just added a swing. and when i was counting back i pictured myself there and it really worked. it was cool.

kay sorry but i'm going to be a total fag, but this has been bothering me for half an hour. i am a closet degrassi fan ahaha, so anyway i just saw a new episode and.. kay well i'll tell you what happened in the last episode if you don't watch, this girl emma is dating this really hot guy paul (who used to be really ugly but now he's like BAM hot) but she kind of had a thing for his best friend sean. so emma told paul about it, and he got really pissed (obviously). the next day the principal (aka paul's mom) got a tip that sean had pot in his locker. so she searched and it was there and sean got expelled even though he said it wasn't his (pfft, who would believe him) so then emma was talking to sean and he said he thought that paul did it, so after school paul went up to emma and appologized for freaking out, and she forgave him, and they started talking about sean and emma said that he thought paul did it, and paul said he didn't. so then it went to sean who was in a garage working on a csr with this other dude, and the other dude said he should race paul, so he did but when he hit the nos he lost control and hit someone. and sean went to jail cause he's 18, and paul got house arrest and comunity service cause he's 17 i think. so today i was watching, and paul found his keys that his mom hid, and he was going to drive emma home, but she got kind of mad so she left, but after she told him to go to the mascarade party. so he bought her this really cool mast and left it in her locker. so at the dance he had to dress as a gorilla. so she was talking to this girl and told her that paul bought her the mask and left it in her locker and the girl was like ' you told him your combination? ' and emma said ' no? ' then she took paul to her locker and took off his mask and told him to open her locker and he said he needed the combination and she said ' i thought you had it ' and he said he wrote it down and she was like ' from where? ' and he explained that his mom had them all in her office and he got it there. and she asked if he planted the pot in sean's locker and he said that what he did was to keep him together. and she left him?! like wtf?! sean is a loser anyway i hate him! and paul is sweet, and really hot! ugh, kay i know it's probably not that new. but still i just saw it.

kay so the tittle, it's pretty simple. i realized i loose intrest in guys pretty fast. so i guess that things have to be intresting for me to stay around ahaha. idk it's weird :P

kay well no songs, pictures, or quotes today, sorry.

laura.xx !

when i needed a friend, i had no one, why does he come back now?

for most people, school has already started, which makes it boring through the days. which goes without saying, i have a lot of time to think. even to write. and a song at that, which i never do. it's probably not that good, so i probably won't put it up unless one of my friends like beggs lmao. i kind of wish my school has started already, i'm sick of waiting! it's killing me! plus i need someone else to like, it's weird. i know it's stupid that i hate not liking anyone, but that's just who i am :P


so with the fast aproach of my future all my memories start flooding in. This summer was meerly a steping stone to the rest of my life and as it turns to fall, the stepping stone begins to wobble, i have to be brave and leap. okay, enough cheesy medephores. but seriously, i really don't want to let go of my past. it seems that going to a high school with two people from my old school is a lot different than going to a high school with everyone you went to school with. i guess living in a small town pretty much my whole life, that's what i've started to expect. but that dream is out of reach i guess you could say..


when i think of leaving the past just that, in the past. i think of things that will never be the same, mostly friendships, great ones, weird ones, funny ones, i even kind of miss the friendship i had with arden. but one came to mind suspiciously when i started thinking about my childhood. one i left behind ages ago, one that was better than any other no matter how lame people might think it is. but when you're someone like me, sometimes it's the best you've got, and sometimes that's just what you need. his name was victor. he had spikey black hair, pale skin, red eyes and fangs. he was my imaginary friend vampire. he lived in my basement. he was so cool! he could fly, hang upside down, and always make me smile. i vividly remember the day i stopped believing. i had been best friends with this girl, aron, for about two months, and we were really bad. we were always together, and think of when you were really little, remember thoes boys who would pull your pigtails in kindergarden who spent their recesses chazing girls and coming up with new ways to torment the teachers? well that was us, only we went to different schools. but we were the terrors of our neighbourhood. i thought it was stupid to believe in something so incrediable unrealistic. whenever i was trying to sleep, and i heard a twig on my window or something that i used to think was victor, i would just roll over and banish the thought. kind of funny huh? i wanted to be a vampire before it was cool. haha. but i miss my childhood, and this big leap i'm going to be taking on thurday (regestration) into a world so different from what i used to want to break out of. is it normal to be this depressed realizing a dream?



Songs of the day;


paper bag princess - hello kelly


old school - hedly


check yes juliet - we the kings


photos of the day;

Quote of the day;

Cause if you jump I will jump too We will fall together From the building's ledge Never looking back at what we've done We'll say it was love Cause I would die for you On skyway avenue So what's left to prove We have made it through

- we the kings

laura.xx !

she's just a loaner with a sexy aditude :)

so i'm single, but i'll talk about that leter, it has to do with the title.

sorry it's been so long, i've been a little busy. i finished new moon, and i'm starting eclips asap :) i just need to get it lol. i also completly redid my whore myspace (if you don't have it you don't know what it really means, if you do have myspace add it myspace.com/thisisthescene_xx) i redid my about me, and there's one part i want to share with you guys. ' i guess nothing i've said has made me unique, i've heard i am, but the truth is i couldn't tell you what about me is unique. i'm just a typical teenage girl. i'm going to dye my hair five different colours, get peircings my parents won't aprove of, and get a tatoo they will eventually find out about. ' go ahead, quote me if you want :P

soo school in a week and two days huh? i'm really not excited. i was, and i wasn't nervous at all, but i kind of am now. like i don't know who i'm going to be sharing my locker with (which wouldn't be a problem if someone didn't ditch me *hint hint*) and in high school cliques are aparently really important, and i don't really fit in with any of my friends that are going to my high school. so i'm going to have to find a whole new group of friends chances are. it's scarry, starting all over. i'm not worried about the work. i'm sure that's not going to be that much of a problem, it's just that i have to share a locker with someone i don't know. someone i might end up hating. i've been looking forward to high school my whole life.. until i started to miss grade eight. started to miss the people i'll never see again. oh well it's too late to go back now :( what a shame.

okay, so to my title. it's actually pretty indepth. it has soo many different reasons why it's perfect for me right now. number one; it's part of one of my favourite songs (which too is so indepth why it's perfect for me) five colours in her hair - mcfly. number two; it describes my relationship status. like i said, i broke up with david, but the funny thing is, i stopped liking the other guy too. it's weird. but i'm totally over both. for once i don't like anyone and i like it. i'm totally alone, and i love it! number three; high school. i have this weird feeling that i'm going to be a loaner, for at least a little while until i make new friends, (btw i love my two friends from grade eight who are going to high school with me to death, i just don't fit in with you guys really) but being a loaner isn't going to change me. i'm still going to be the same lauraa you have grown to love :)

songs of the day;

five colours in her hair - mcfly.

transylvania - mcfly.

monster techno remix - meg & dia.

pictures of the day;

quote of the day;

I think we dream so we aren't apart as long. As long as we're in each others dream's, we can play together.
- Calvin and Hobbes

if something is perfect.. shouldn't it stay that way?

sorry it's been so long. i've had a lot on my mind and when i went to new brunswick i couldn't post because my dad's computer is so slow! i also had a lot of stuff going on like i found out my friend died in october (i don't want condolence, it's just an explination) and just a lot of stuff.
so anyway, in new brunwick i stayed around the house a lot and read. i read kissing kate which is really good. and i finially read twilight. it only took three days :). i love that book! we also watched a bunch of movies. like at least one every night. i'm not sure if i can remember them all, but i'll try. batman begins, die hard, live free or die hard, national treasure, national treasure 2, shoot 'em up, over the hedge, dooms day (which i hated!!) and 21 (which i loved) so over all it was pretty fun. i even got along with my brothers. i only got mad once, when they were making fun of people who cut themselves, which you must know i feel strongly about.
so i got home on friday nigh/saturday morning. and i went to the fair saturday. i went with emily and her friend who i don't like! then i left them to hang out with steph. and we hung out with different people. it was really fun! it had a ride that was just a big loop that you go around and around and we went on it so many times! usually in the front :) they also had a haunted house. it was fun during the day, but at night there was this guy with a creepy mask and a chain saw and me and stephanie screamed soo much she lost her voice and i almost did. i slept over at her house and it was so fun! then i went home and things took a bad turn.
it started yesterday. as you know i have a boyfriend who i love.. but i stated to like someone else.. i know i'm such a whore, and i feel horrible!! i just don't know if i should tell david.. and if i do how. and well i have to.. but idk.. it's so hard! i have to talk to stephanie before i do anything, but i don't know her new number!! this is so hard!! what should i do? ahh, i need help :( all this stress is making me sick!
laura.x !