you're just looking for a replacement and we don't have to stand for it!

As, if you have been reading my blogs, I'm sure you know, about a week ago my step brother moved out, and now i see why..
His father (not even going to call him my step dad, instead let's call him brian, the friend that no body likes) hasn't been the same. But he hasn't been fighting with anyone or anything, until yesterday. I got home from my friend's party, and he asked if i knew how to fold the friggen towels. i said no! I'm sorry if my HONESTY offended you somehow! That night he started to fight with my mom. i don't even know why, but it was probably something retarded like always! so i had my tv really loud so i could drown out their yelling. Than at like 2 am he woke up cause my tv was on too loud. but it was his fucking fault! so he starts yelling at my mom and wakes me up in the process. and he starts making shit up like i always say no to everything he asks me to do! and like he says this all the time, but like i don't even know where he gets this shit cause i never have.
He said that i had to leave this morning at fucking 4:30 am cause he was afraid that i was going to lie and say that he hit me or whatever but i was like yea I'm sure, I think you're just afraid that you might actually do it! and he's always saying that i always tell him to fuck off or whatever and again i don't know where he gets it cause i don't swear in front of my parents! so like wtf?!
so yea at 4:30 in the fucking morning i had to get up and go to tim hortons with my mom and brother and had to sit there for 9 fucking hours! I almost started crying like 70 times throughout the day.
When we finally got to leave we went to the store first. Then we got home and thank fucking god he wasn't here. we were here for like 2 hours. you know god must hate me cause he didn't get in a car accident and burn in fucking hell like he should. no he came home instead!
My brother is so lucky, he already left with his girlfriend by the time he was home.. ok no, not a fucking home, a shelter till we find something better.. like a sleazy. one-bedroom apartment with blood stains on the floor and bullet holes in the fucking walls! Ahh comforting! So anyway when he got home it was silent, i was on the computer talking to my friends and doing my homework. And my mom was doing the laundry.
Then all of a sudden he's like '_____ can't come in the mornings anymore!' and i was like WTF?! she has to, she has no where else to go!!! and i know that if she comes I'm gonna get like kicked out or some shit like that! It's so stupid cause he's not even here when she comes! So i don't know wtf his problem is!
he's trying to find some closure in this and he's looking for someone to replace his son! Well keep looking buttercup! Because it's not going to be me! You treat me worse than you treated your son. He didn't even ask you if he could have friends over. they just came and you welcomed them with open arms! and i can't have someone over when you're not even home for her to bug you and there's a reason she has to come over! like are you fucked in the head?!
I'm so fucking glad I'm moving soon and i will never have to see him again. because my mom is finally listening to me and my brother and she's leaving his needy, alcoholic ass! Is this a game? Do you think you will ever get anyone so out of your league like my mom is?!
Am I just a mistake to you?! Because to a few people out there I am so much more! I don't need you in my life and i never want you to be. If i never talk to you again I'll be happy! My life could be so much happier. and without you it will be! My life was almost good before i heard your name. I was never depressed before i heard your name. i never felt very unsafe before i heard your name. there is only one other person in the world that made me feel like you do. My real father. Luckily my mother dumped his alcoholic ass too. and i have a restraining order against him until I'm 18! And i swear to god if you come to my new house i will personally get one for you too!
I know that there are people out there who are here for me and who will let me cry on their shoulder and let me pour my heart out to them. my friends are the most important thing in the world. and you can tell that someone is a true friend to someone when they will even let you confide to them when you barley speak to them. This happened today. i barley ever talk to this girl, but she really let me open up to her and i let her open up to me. other people did too without getting mad at what i was saying. without interrupting me. without asking questions that they really know that they don't need to know about!
There is a whole flip side to this life. it can't be all that bad. There are relationships that last forever. just because i have never witnessed one, doesn't mean they don't exist! Without you i hope to experience everything of my teenage years i have been deprived of. Without you... i might just be happy..
-xo Laura♥

Blogged with the Flock Browser