I think i'm going to do this blog a little differently than normal. This time all I am going to do is explain the title, because it is my whole day..
C O L D : Today we had track and feild. but it was freezing! It rained all day! everytime i looked at him and saw him looking at me, his eyes pearcing me like razors. just because of the fact that his feelings are competly opposite of mine. why would he like someone like me ? I'm not one of the gorgeous 'flawless' popular girls. well anyway. i was freezing but i had to change out of my pants into shorts, but when i wanted to put them back on, they were soaked. they got rained on. I was so cold. i actually cried. all i wanted was her to ask him out for me so he could say yes.. and hold me in his arms. because nothing is so sweet.
S A D : I decided to change the way that we were going to ask him. i told my friend to ask him if he would ever go out with me. so it wouldn't be as bad if he said no.. Well it worked. He did say no, because he doesn't like me. and i'm not as hurt as i thought i was going to be.. i haven't cried.. yet.. i wish he could just see me for me.. i wish he knew me personally. i wish he would give a loser a chance..
C O N F U S E D : Even though he has given his answer, i'm not sure what to do.. what to think.. I mean, i always catch him looking at me.. maybe it's just me.. I wish he could tell me.. i wish i had the courage to ask.. I don't know what to think about him anymore.. do i still like him ? is it worth it if i do? will he ever change his mind ? is forgeting about him the answer. is letting it get to me any better ? how can you feel so strongly about someone who feels nothing back ? is it true? are the person who you love, and the person who loves you never the same person?
-XO lAURA♥
p.s. I D O N ' T W A N T T O B E L I K E T H A T ! I ' M N O T D O N E H I D I N G A L L O F MY E M O T I O N S . .
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Cold, Sad and comfused.
Posted by laura xo at 5:49 PM
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4 comments:
I really can’t say. Guys don’t make much sense at that age. Perhaps time will be kinder. But part of it may be the mode of your request. While you may be sending a friend because you don’t have the courage to ask him, he may think its because you really don’t care to say so yourself. While that could be way off mark, usually I reserve such things for person to person speech; be it asking someone out or breaking up with someone, or even making important decisions in the relationship, its always better to do it in person. Not so you can make use of your crazy good poker skills and watch for their tells or that little twitch they make when their lying, but so they know and you know you’re being serious. If its done over the phone, or even worse, over the internet, it holds no weight, no significance. So that’s usually what I do.
Besides, if you don’t have the courage talk to him about you guys going out, maybe he’s not the right guy for you. I mean, that would be a really awkward date; neither of you being comfortable talking with each other.
This is me going out on a limb, but here it is. You’re making this all too stressful. Dating shouldn’t be about stress, and hoping, and denial. You find someone who is enjoyable to be around, and you know they’re fun because you talk to them and have fun when you’re with them; then when you go on a date with them, its like the times before, but just for the two of you. If you don’t know they guy, perhaps you take the time to know him in a friendly context; this will do two things. First, you can determine if you really like him after all; second, it will make dates (if you decide you like him) a lot more fun for the two of you.
Well, that’s my take on things, but its your choice with how you handle dating.
i guess you're right about it being awkward, but a lot of people who don't go to my school wouldn't understand. and if you don't know me personally it's very complicated. It's not the kind of thing that i would do. i'm the kind of person who waits for the guy to ask me out. i have never in my life done it. I don't get shy around the guy i like, but when i have no doubt that he likes me back, it's not a risk i am willing to take. i already have a lot of stress and depression in my life, a rejection to my face would really crush me. I'm a selective risk-taker. sure some aren't the best ones, but there are only some things that i won't risk. it's complicated.. but i hope you get it and don't think i'm a total idiot.
"I'm a selective risk taker..." and I'm the exact same way, dear. I understand your point exactly. Come to think of it, we're more alike in that way than you know. So you're not an idiot, especially because I make choices almost identical to yours daily. But don't worry about disagreing with me; you shouldn't be sorry about it either. If you have a different idea, thats fine- just don't be willing to sacrifice it just because someone else says its wrong. You'll save yourself a lot of time is you do that; if you don't, and you compromise yourself, you'll end up a bitter poetic teenager like me.
i'm sure that we are alike. it seems like it through the way that you seem to understand my blogs than some of my friends. and i have been quite bitter and cold before, but my friends helped me to see that i have a lot of things to be happy about at the age of 12. but i'm unhappy to say that i'm sure one day i will be back to my old self one day..
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