boy how can you be so blind? why can't you see that i am falling for you? when are you going to catch me?

ok so today was pretty weird. last night i was so stressed out, and mad, and confused and just not in the mood to talk to anyone. well the person i said was one of my best friends.. i hate him. so much. he started talking to me and asking when we're goning to hang out, and i said idk. but he wouldn't leave it at that. he kept bugging me no matter how many times i told him to leave me alone cause i couldn't talk. i was editing pictures for the grad slide show. and he said i could talk to him about why i was stressed, but i didn't want to and i finially snapped on him. i was like 'ok i have to finish this. i'm really not in the mood to talk right now. i have to finish this, and right now i really don't want to hang out with you. and i don't need your help! i can deal with this myself. i don't need help. sure sometimes it's great, but sometimes you have to learn when to just back off. i'm a big girl now, i can take care of myself. just forget i even said anything, forget we were ever going to hang out, and forget i ever trusted you with that secret.' he wasn't happy, but i was fucking pissd. and i still am.
so this morning i was having a really shitty day. i was in a really bad mood, and i was getting short tempered with everyone, and i'm not pms-ing if that's what you're thinking. so gym, we didn't really do anything, we played soccer which is one of the sports that i really hate. so me, steph and some other people were just standing there talking. in music we finished our poster and just goofed off the rest of the period. in french we went to the library, but me, steph and some people were just drawing. recess was pretty boring. nothing really happened. math was gay as usual. but lunch made my day.
we were hanging out with our friend and she was lying on the ground, and she was rolling around.. it turned out she rolled in dog shit! it really made my day! we were laughing about it for so long. and it even made her day. omg i love her, she's amazing. in literacy i had to work on history, but i have no cchoice. i'm riding on just over a 50%. and if i don't get at least a 60% my mom will kill me. but w.e she's a bitch.
ok so last night i was talking to the guy i like now, (i'm almost completly over my old crush, i have a feeling my heart won't let me let go completly after grad) and i told him that he should come to my grad, cause his is two days later, and he said he would if he's allowed and if someone else comes.. but that person is like my best friend. so it's ok. and i'm still not sure if he's allowed to come.. but he should be! but i'm going to ask him, so it won't be so weird for him to come, if he would want to go with me as friends. :D hahaha well i hope he will say yes, and maybe he can start to really get to know me, like really well.
well to explain the title.. well i'm sure you can figure it out, but i'll fill in the details. i really like him, and i don't want to tell him, and i don't want anyone to, i want him to figure it out. idk, like if i knew him better, or we were going to the same school already, i would have no problem telling him or getting someone to tell him, but since he does live so far away, and i don't know him that well, i guess it woulf be weird if he knew for sure, you know ? well maybe it only makes sense to me. but i just hope he feels the same way.
-xo Laura♥