genuinly happy.. for one night and one night only.

So to start off this note.. I love love LOVE my new house. when i woke up i was scared for a minute. i was like 'ah wtf?! where am i?! ohhhh yea.!' lmfao. well nothing really happened today till lunch i guess. like every friday we went out for lunch. and the guy i like hung out with us for most of the time.. it was weird, and we even talked..
i wanted to ask him out right then, but i used my better judgement.. and decided not to! my friend cassie also made me emo. she grabbed my wrist and started to scratch it with her finger nail. then it started to heal and they looked like real scars.. and really stung for the rest of the day.. they still kind of do. and she kept saying that i cut myself. and i was like 'ok i have no knife, or razor or anything, and i didn't have them this morning at school ?!' but it didn't matter, cause he didn't stop looking my way.. my friend jack and i got into a fight.. kinda thing.. lmfao. he called me a three dollar mexican prostitute!
well moving on. today was a dream come true.. well almost.. but i think it might end like that. everyone does.. well the people who matter.. It's so nerve wracking, but i'm not nervous.. i'm excited.. like REALLY excited.!! i love looking into his eyes and smiling.. un willingly really, but it's ok. i like it. i like loosing myself in day dreams about him.. even people being dicks if he notices me. i know it sounds pathetic, but i never thought that he noticed me before.. well i knew that he did because he always catches me looking his way.. but it's nice to know that he cares.. i guess i have to explain a little better huh ?
It all started on monday i guess.. in art me, steph and our friend were working in the hall and he guessed who stephanie liked.. and steph was like 'ok now you have to guess who laura likes!!' and he was like 'um.. this school?' she said 'yea' he asked 'grade seven ?' she said 'yea' he asked 'miss o'riley's class' she said 'no' he guessed a few people.. i said no to all of them.. he said his name.. i said no.. he looked at me.. i blushed.. and smiled.. then i laughed and he knew i was lying.. during this time, the classes were changing, but we had a double art, so he was going into our homeroom for science. i looked and he was like right there.. i was bright red, so i went back to work on my art.. my friend made up a stupid nickname that really bugged me. then another one of my friends, the girl in yellow from my earlier blogs, heard it..
well on to wednesday when it really went down. in gifted the girl in yellow and i were talking about it, because one of the other people were saying something about what happened in DVPA and it involved him. and she said the nickname and it was as if time stood still for like 5 minutes.. i felt as though i was going to throw up.. time came back to me and i imediatly pretended that no one heard.. i told her i hated her. and people said that they heard. one told the person who was telling about DVPA something. i forced him to tell me. he asked me if i liked one of my bestfriends!! i said 'hell no!' but he started saying that i did anyway.. someone else asked who i did like, and the girl in yellow wanted to tell him.. but i wouldn't let her.. i would have told him because he is my friend, but i jsut didn't want her to tell him. i called the guy who started telling people i liked my bestfriend a dick and went to the bathroom. in there i ran into one of my other bestfriends and told her what happened and that i was about to cry.. when i got back too class i tried to calm down, but instead i just didn't talk..
when we went outside to practice track and feild i started talking to my friend about it, we were waiting for someone to oppen the door to let us go to the bathroom, cause i didn't want to cry outside.. in front of everyone.. as i tried to explain, waiting for someone to come, he stood befind me. i could hardly tell her with him there. and i didn't want to talk.. i looked at him for just a second.. i really didn't want him to know i was crying.. i saw his face in the reflection in the glass of the door. he was looking at me too. he looked concerned, but who knew he really was ? we got inside, but we had to leave the bathroom.. we had to go back outside.. i had to face them.. i did a couple of laps, but then i just stopped to talk to my friends about what happened. one friend i was talking to was the guy that wanted to know who i liked.. he is really a good friend, and i told him why i was so upset. when he went back to practice shot put, i saw the guy i like look my way once again. he did many times that day.. i didn't want him to see, but he did.
alright, on yesterday.. well last night to be more exact.. as you must know, i am planning on asking him out.. well it's going to be stephanie asking him out for me.. i know that i said i thought that it was lame, but she said that it would be fine, so i trust that.. and it's going to happen on tuesday..
So today in literacy the person who i called a dick told me that he knows that i like him. i asked him how he knew, and he said that the person who wanted to know who i like told him, and that the guy i like told him. and i was kind of like wtf?! why did he tell him.. like did he ask?! and so me and the girls in yellow went up to him and i was like 'why did he tell you?! like did you ask?!' and he was like 'no i didn't ask him, like when i went back with my class he was like 'hey why is laura crying?' and i was like 'um i don't know.' cause i didn't want to tell him and he was like 'oh, well cause i heard she had a crush on me' and yea.' and i just smiled. i was so happy that he asked..!
then when we went out to practice Track and feild again. and i told steph what he said and she said that he'll probably say yes. and i didn't know why and she said that he probably likes me.. and i still didn't know why.. and she said that he wouldn't have asked why i was crying if he didn't care.. i was so happy. i still am! i want tuesday to come FAST!! i just can't wait !!! AHHH!! well i better go now.. time to dream about him :D
-xo Laura♥