something as fun and great as you, can only get me into trouble..

sorry i haven't posted in a while, it's been pretty chaotic around here lately. as i pridicted, my brothers have managed to piss me off at least once everyday they were here. yesterday it was my brother, danny's, brithday. he's the only brother that i actually like. he's nice. i wonder were he gets it?! anyway, so i was actually having a good time with my family for once! haha, anyway, my brother jesse, who is one of the ones who lives with me, started being a total dick to me. out of no where! he started making for me being a vegi, which he never does, and he was trying to make me look like an idoit and trying to embarass me! it's weird because he only does this in the summer. when he's around all of my brothers. it's like he tries to impress them! it's so gay! like they're his brothers! who really gives a shit if they think you're cool! just by belittling someone else! i hate him more than ryan (the brother that i fight with more than becca and paul did) because ryan is actually like that, it's just who he is. Jesse changes himself to be like that! ugh! it's so annoying! i can't wait until he moves out! i'm not even going to miss him!!

ok so moving on, my title. today my mother got my cell bill! yikes! my phone was $200! i got in soo much trouble because i started arguing with her about it because she said that once i get a job i have to pay for my own phone bill which is totally unfair because jesse had a job and he didn't have to pay! she said that we both get free phones for the same amount of time! but that's not fair! the time that i had a free phone i was unemployed and had no money. jesse had a job and had lots of money! it' s so no fair! ugh! tell me, do you agree?

so on saturday i finially got up the courage to say it, i finially told david that i love him. i came up with the cheesiest way to say it too :P so like i said before, i have become obsessed with post-it note art and hardcore emo drawings. well my banner is on my wall and when i was making it i ran out of post-it notes, later that night/morning i decided that i really would feel weird having that on my wall unless he loved me back. so i told him i had something to tell/show him. and i turned my webcam on and said : 'k it says love, but i can't finish it until i know how you feel.. As much as I hate to be the first one to say it, and mean it, especially if you don’t feel the same way, I have to be honest with you, I have to tell you that I love you David.' then i told him not to say it if he didn't mean it. but he did, and i couldn't stop smiling!

now for something a little random. i am so sick of just sitting around. i want summer to be more exciting i want to travel! so here are the top three places i want to go:

london

paris

tokio

i would really love to go to a big city like thoes. i'd also love to go to new york! big cities really excite me! maybe it's the rush of the trafic, or the crowded streets, or the great stores, or the redicusly tall buildings. who knows, maybe it's the danger of living somewhere so crime filled, maybe it's the luxury of living somewhere someone's actually heard of. haha. well what ever it is, it's amazing! but the closest i've ever been to a big glamourous city is ottawa. but maybe one day, right?

Laura.xx !

you hide behind one of my best friends because you trust them more than me?!

so apparently i'm not trust worthy! i just found out that one of my friends doesn't trust me. and i'm not even trust worthy enough to know who doesn't trust me. ok i was talking to one of my best friends, and something happened that i'm not going to get into, but then there was a secret he wanted to tell me that one of my other best friends couldn't know, but the person who told him said that i couldn't know. and i was fine with that because to be honest i couldn't care less what the secret was. then he said that she said that i couldn't know because i would tell the person who can't know. wtf?! unless it was something that she needed to know i wouldn't tell! i kept a suprize party from one of my ex best friends! why would this be any different?! so i just wanted to know who it was, because don't you think that i deserve to know who doesn't trust me?! well i guess not, because i wasn't even allowed to be told who it was! like coward much!? so i guess i just can't trust anyone, because how am i supposed to trust someone who can't trust me?! ugh, this really bothers me. i never knew people thought i just told everyone everything!! UGH!! fuck. i hate this.

anyway, now that that's out of the way, i want to talk about something else. i'm sure you have noticed the changes in my blog. the new pictures i mean. i hope you like them :) i took them all myself. both of the ones made out of post-it notes are made by me and are actually on my bedroom walls. and the cons are actually mine. i actually drew it. :D i'm proud of myself. i will probably have some more soon. i have taken up drawing. well more like doodling. i have a sketch book that is like my life. it has plans, drawings, quotes, reminders, and deep thoughts.

for the past three days i have been totally obsessed with post-it note are and hardcore emo drawings. i forgot how boring summer really is. i have been staying home... like a lot. with all of my friends either busy with something else, living too far away, on vacation, at camp or in a fight with me, i have no one to hang out with. well next week david is finished his CIT training, so we're gonna do something.. i think we're going to the movies.. not sure though.. well it doesn't really matter what we do, as long as we're together <3

as my boredom of summer continues, as i have been writing this blog all day, my brothers are all now here. i live with two, and my other two are here for two weeks. they arived about an hour ago. i like one of them. but not the other. me and him fight worse than paul and becca (if you were a loyal reader back then). the first thing he said to me was "you're sopiled!" what a loving brother huh? this is going to be an intresting three weeks. (because i'm going to my dad's for a week and a half). as you must know, i'm secene and vegi. my brother is anti emo/scene kids, and he's just generally a dick. i'm still contemplating telling him i have a boyfriend. he'll probably find out anyway, just if i say it, it'll just make me look like a bitch.. which i have no problem with.

so as for my plans for the summer:

my party : july 26 - 27

new brunswick : july 27 - august 8

fair : august 9

ater that i got nothing. i hope your summer's more exciting than mine. share your plans ?

Laura.xx !

because i've missed you, ever since i had to turn around and say "good bye"

so on sunday i went to the mall with emily, david, and one of emily's friends. it was kind of awkward at first because, to be honnest, it was the first time that we have seen eachother since we started dating. it was a little frustrating because it took him an hour and a half for him to hold my hand. but once we did he did, it was as though it was magical. Even though it was just a simple gesture, it was still adorable how it happened.
we were sitting on this couch by toys r us. i had my left hand on my knee, and he had his right hand in the small space between our leggs. he reached his pinkey out to grab mine, we looked at eachother, then back to our hands, then back to eachother. we both knew we wanted it, so he grabbed my hand. i smiled, but i could feel myself blushing, i had to look away. when i could feel the redness in my cheeks going away, i looked back, only to see him gazing at me. i felt the blood imediatly rush back, but this time i didn't care. our eyes met and neither of us broke the stare until we had to.
it wasn't long before we were finially left alone. it was nice to get to be with just him. we looked deep into eachothers eyes, we slowly got closer and closer. our noses touched, and our cheeks brushed. he parted his lips, and i thought that he was going to kiss me. instead he gently blew on my lips. i didn't know what to do. i wanted to kiss him! i wanted him to kiss me. we moved closer yet, our lips almost met, until i heard her voice "laura! it's four, we have to go." i hate thoes words. we pulled away and looked at eachother, both knowing that we didn't want it to end. we stood and started walking down the hall hand in hand. he broke the silience when he quietly said in the sweetest tone "laura, you're amazing." i looked back up at him and sumply said "you're more amazing."
when we got outside we had caught up to the others, but we fell behind again. i went to give him a hug, when i pulled away i looked into his eyes, he leaned in closer, and i stood on my tippy toes.. *btw if you want to skip the 'messy' details, skip the rest of this paragraph* as my lips melted into his soft, full lips i felt on top of the world. it was the most amazing kiss i had ever had. he slightly parted his lips to let my bottom one slide in, and when we closed his mouth it was gently pushed back out. he did the same with my top lip, and i just melted in his arms. if he wasn't there supporting me, i would have fallen over. when we finished i didn't want to let go, but i knew that i had to. it was so hard to walk away, i thought i was going to cry. but i didn't.
yesterday me, steph, david and all of our friend went to the mall. just like last time, it took a long time for him to do anything other than staring at eachother. this time just about everything that we did was because of stephanie. we ran into a store and as we were looking at the clothes, i told her that i hoped that it wasn't like last time. i wanted to hold his hand, but we both knew that i wasn't going to make the fist move. she asked if she could make us, and i said i didn't care. so when we left the store, david and i were standing next to eachother, and she said "HOLD HANDS!" i just laughed, looked at him and he grabbed my hand. it was really sweet.
once our friend left, we were sitting on this bench and we were looking deeply into eachothers eyes, and we slowly got closer and closer but stephanie just ruined the moment by saying "if you're gonna kiss just do it!" i looked at her, then back at him and laughed. he just shrugged and leaned in closer to my lips. *once again, might want to skip* it started the same as last time, our lips gently touched, he 'sucked' (if you will) on my bottom lip, then the top, then he oppened his mouth, and i was afraid that he was going to try to make out with me. but he just kissed me again. this one lasted a lot longer.
unfortunately we really pissed stephanie off a few times. we went back to the couches where we almost had our first kiss, and we kissed again, a lot. and some little kids were staring at us the whole time. but we didn't care. it was special, nothing could have ruined it. we were supposed to leave at 8:20, but we 'missed the bus' and stayed until 10. but the mall closed at nine, so we hung out outside of the mall for an hour. it was so much fun. i just wish i didn't have to say good bye..
Laura.xx !
p.s. if you were wondering why i was afraid that he was going to try to make out with me, it's because i've never done it before. i mean he knows that, i just like him so much that i don't want fuck it up!
p.p.s. i know the way that i worded how he kissed me is weird, but i didn't know how else to describe it!! :P

as the clock struck midnight, my heart skipped a beat..

ahh! happiest day of my life so far. i think it could be love. i mean it is more than just a crush. because he's already the boy, i can call my boyfriend♥
i guess it's time for me to fill in some missing details. his name is david. he is the sweetest living person. and i'm falling in love with him! call me a hipocrit because i said that love is stupid, and that it was impossible at our age, i don't care, it's true.
i guess it all became clear to me on the weekend that love has no age. love is something that is just there. it just happens. you can't control it. you could find true love at 5 or 50. sometimes it's someone you never expected yourself to be with, but sometimes it's with someone you could totally picture yourself with.
maybe i should stop going on about stuff i don't even know anything about huh ? and just move onto how it happened. so as you may know, he's in carolina, and he can't go on msn. but i love facebook chat, because he can go on that!
Laura: you make it so hard to wait! you make my hear race with everything you say and you make me melt with every word you type <3
David: thats the only problem, were only typing things, by know i know i like you so much, and i could end up loving you i rly wanted to do this in person but i'm ready now, youre irresistable and i just cant wait!<3 laura.. will you be my girlfriend? <3
Laura: omg! yes <3
i am so happy, there is no way i am going to get to sleep, but i have to try :P
Laura.xx !