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Thursday, June 12, 2008

how can i compete with my best friend.. especially over someone neither of us even like?

ok, so today was boring, i'm going to skip it all. haha. but because this is going to be a short blog, and only about one this.. the big night.. GRAD!
woah, is it ever sneaking up on us?! i mean this year has been weird you know.. i mean it's like it was yesterday that we were all standing outside the art room window on the first day, reading who was in who's class, and finding out who all the new kids were. but with everything and everyone that has changed, it's like it was so long ago that everyone was friends, and it was so long ago that everyone was themselves.. well sure we are all still ourselves, but.. diferent people you know? everything this year has influenced us so much. i mean one of the strongest friendships died this year. i mean yea me and that person are friends again now, but we will never be as close as we were before. this year has been such an experience. crushes, fights, tears, laughs, rumors, eating disorders, blood, drama, sex, and pain really gave us a look into the future of what the real world is like. and the only thing that got most of us through it was music and the love and support of our friends.
i could think of a few regrets from this year, but the honest truth is that without thoes 'what the hell did i just do' moments, we wouldn't be where we all are now. sure i miss thoes days that there was no drama other than that kid just stole my crayon, but without all the drama and everything else that comes along with being thirteen or fourteen, we would never be able to deal with the real world. if we grew up our whole lives without telling a single lie, or hearing a single rumor about yourself or one of your friends, you will never be ready for what lies ahead in the cut throat reality of the real world. so i guess i am glad that i had to deal with all the shit people do to eachother. because that's what it's really like.
so for grad there is a different drama. the weirdest kind. because it's over people that don't mean anything more than just as a friend. a date to grad is the weirdest kind, because it's for one night and one night only. you don't have to like them, and they don't have to call you the next day. i was thinking about asking someone who doesn't go to my school. and who i will see in the fall. but once i found out he's not even allowed to come to the dance, i realized that that defeats the purpous. so i decided that i was going to ask my friend. but one of my best friends was already going to ask him, but she didn't know. well it turned out she decided that she's going to ask someone else, so i asked the guy i was going to. but he wants to go solo. he said he's not rejecting me, he just doesn't want a date. but it's not like i like him or anything, so i'm fine. but it wasn't as hard as i thought it was going to be. i guess it was because it was a no pressure date. i guess this was kind of a break through for me. i have never asked someone out, well this isn't really asking someone out, but same principal.
woah another thing this year has done. it's weird really. but i guess it's just another stepping stone that we will never forget that makes us who we are. i might not ask someone else, but idk, if i think of someone else i might ask, i'll definatly go for it! but if i don't go it's not a big deal, like he said 'going by your self is the best, well for gr 8 grad, high school grad is different.' I'm glad that he asked if there were any hard feelings, because now he doesn't think i like him. which is good! but i'll totally keep you all posted on if i ask anyone else.
-xo Laura
oh p.s. when i mentioned sex, i didn't mean anyone had it, but just like all we have said about it, and the rumors about it.

6 comments:

Emaleaxo said...

omg laura why did u write the ps about sex! i was gunna go! "WHAT?!SEX!WHO?!" but know u ruined it but lol yeah i didnt think he was that ideal and someone told me he didnt want a date so i siad no to asking him so i chose someone else h is gunna ask him tmr at first recess! :| so confusing and nervous but i dont really care. lol sorry for righting like half of a blog here lol.

laura xo said...

it's ok.. but wtf about h asking him?! but w.e! don't even caree.

beccabrownxo said...

lol (this is at first resess) but im gonna ask the guy to grad :)

laura xo said...

ok.. intresting.. but really has nothing to do with the blog.. :S

beccabrownxo said...

id sneek him into teh dance if i were you ,id b funny ,it would work ,i walked right into my brotehrs grad dance and ms.miner said nothing

laura xo said...

yea but the differece is becca, you go to our school. he doesn't.