emotions aren't like board games, so stop playing with mine!

well well well, hasn't it been for-fucking-ever?! so high school is fun. but god! complication much?!

i'll be breif but start from the begining; there is this really hot guy in my math class who i liked, then he got a girlfriend and i got over him pretty fast and started liking this other guy, who, as it tured out, liked me too. so at the dance he asked me to dance in the third slow song. then i had to go before the next one. so we talked a lot on msn and stuff, but we are both really shy. and then a week or so later he thought i stopped liking me at the same time i thought he stopped liking me, but with the help of two of our friends we got that straightened out. but now it seems like that again, and i told one of my friends that i was worried and he said that he told him that he was 'iffy' about it! is it because he doesn't think i still like him? because i do, and both the people who are helping know that! god what does 'iffy' even mean?! i wish it was as simple as yes or no! none of this in the middle shit! i like him. simple as that. i like him a lot! so i told my other friend who's helping what he said and she said that she was going to talk to him tomorrow, so i guess it might get straightened out? maybe not for the best though... but all we can do is hope. i was going to ask him myself today, but right when i got the guts to he signed off :( and of course i can't ask him in person. because i'm a coward. so i don't know what to do anymore...
lauraa.xx !

kay, what was it?

kay, weird thing just happened. SHORTEST TIME LIKING SOMONE EVER! i realized we're too good friends. it's just weird to like him. maybe i just wanted to like someone so bad, and he was the best option.. but the truth is, i never really liked him.. sure he's hot, and nice and funny. but we could never date.. he's too mean to me! haha. but i mean school's tomorrow, so i think i can wait! haha.

so more degrassi stuff. i'm gonna be honest with you, i'm addicted! haha. but ugh! the end of this episode totally shocked me! but i'm not gonna ruin it don't worry haha. but i was watching this stpuid old show, that was actually really funny. it's called ' i was a sixth grade alien ' do you remember it? haha. well it's weird cause like the whole cast was on degrassi! haha.

soo school tomorrow! I'm soo excited to see how people are going to react to my dramatic change haha. see you then!

laura.xx !

ahaha sorry.

this is kind of a rewrite of last night's blog. i was in a rush to go to bed. so i'll explain what happened and what i meant. so i'll just start over.

i kinda sorta wish i could hear your voice, i kinda sorta wish you didn't have to leave, i kinda sorta wish you didn't care i was so loud, i kinda sorta wish i gave you a hug before you left, i kinda sorta wish i saw you more often, i kinda sorta wish you were here beside me, because i kinda sorta have a thing for you...

so last night i was just in my mom's room watching tv, and stephanie and one of our other friends came to my door, and we went out. we went to this giant gazibo (sp?) near my house and some other people came later. it was weird how fast people came out of no where. haha so anyway, then he came and i didn't know at this point. i'm not entirely sure when i started to like him, but somewhere during the night, i wanted to get closer to him. so the gazibo is right beside this restrant/bar and we were LOUD and talking about sex and stuff and we were all laughing and stuff and i think that the people probably thought we were drunk/high cause people go there to get drunk and high, but we wern't. so he kept saying stuff like 'do you not notice the people over there.. staring?' haha but it was really funny. well he has to go and i was kinda dissapointed, but i still had fun.

i still don't know if he should know. i mean if he doesn't like me i don't want to mess up our friendship.. idk what to do :S HELP!

laura.xx !

i kind sorta...

i kinda sorta wish i could hear your voice, i kinda sorta wish you didn't have to leave, i kinda sorta wish you didn't care i was so loud, i kinda sorta wish i gave you a hug before you left, i kinda sorta wish i saw you more often, i kinda sorta wish you were here beside me, because i kinda sorta have a thing for you...

okay guys, it's been about two weeks, it was fun, but guess what?! i like someone! i know shocker right? haha well it's kinda good, but also kinda bad. i guess i'm just asking too much. and no, i'm not talking about wanting edward cullen. haha, though i wish i could meet someone like him, let's face it girls, not every shiny silver volvo you see is going to pull up beside you while you're getting cat calls from random strangers, and the doors aren't going to open to reveil an impossibly gorgeous vampire there to save your day (now i say not every one, cause there's always that hope!) haha well what i meant was that i wanted someone i went to school with, but also someone who lived near me. but that's kind of a rediculious request. so i decided someone who lived close was what i wanted more. so i guess that's what's good about it. he lives close. the bad thing is.. he's kinda.. my best friend's cousion..

i mean she was the first person i told, and she seems cool with it, and i'm sure she is. it's just gonna be weird, cause i would feel awkward talking about him to her. which i do a lot with my crushes. but i can deal. i just don't know if he should know i like him, or if it'll just pass :S

anyway i should go to bed, i just had to let you guys know my blog might get intresting again! haha

laura.xx !

lost in staples ?

haha so todday was regestration, and it was soo funny. there were literally like four other people regestering when i went. it was like at the end so everyone went in the day i guess. so it took us like less than 20 minutes. i found my locker, and it's kind of messed up. like the bottom shelf is all dented :( oh well. so then i went to the mall, and it was pretty fun haha. i got two pairs of skinnies (i was soo close to getting hot pink ones) and a hoodie from urban planet, and a $50 element backpack from boathouse. haha! then i went to staples and i had noo idea what to get :S so my mom and sister-in-law-to-be told me stuff i needed, so i'm talking to anna now about what i didn't get.

SCHOOL TUESDAY!! I'm finially excited! haha. ugh ugh uhg. i wish we could skip tomorrow!! then it'll be the weekend and something good is happening. then skip monday then SCHOOL :D!!!! haha sorry. i guess i was worried about regestration more than high school itself. ahhhh! and OH! MY! GOD!!!! hottt boy! lmao i saw a hot guy that is in grade nine, and one that is in grade 11 :D hahaha. sorry, i'm pumped! i'm gonna go now though.

laura.xx !

ahhh :'(

why are people so horrible? i'm already stressed enough, i really don't need this! okay so here's what's going on. there's this girl, who's turning into arden! and i really don't want to fight with her, i don't want to be her friend right now either, but i just don't want us to be horrible to eachother. because i know what she can do. she's friends with one of my best friends, i don't want to get her in the middle of it. i'm not gonna bitch about her to my friend.. or anyone. cause i don't care. but she might. and she might fuck up one of the best friendships i've ever had!

kay sorry, i just had to vent. i've been crying for like half an hour already.

my heart is pretty fast pase, can you keep up?

err, even my dreams are reminisant of the past! it was weird, i don't really remember it, all i remember is that it was me and stephanie and some random guy, and we were in the parking lot of my new school, but our old teachers were there. it was weird. so last night i couldn't get to sleep, so i scavenged my medicine cabnett and ccan you believe we don't have any cough syrup (don't care how unhealithy that is) and i looked up sleeping techniques and one was counting backwards from 100, and that actually worked, but the weird thing was what i pictured. kay so when we were in girls inc, we did this thing where we would relax and picture ourselves in a place we feel safe. mine was a forest in plymouth, england i saw on tv once, i just added a swing. and when i was counting back i pictured myself there and it really worked. it was cool.

kay sorry but i'm going to be a total fag, but this has been bothering me for half an hour. i am a closet degrassi fan ahaha, so anyway i just saw a new episode and.. kay well i'll tell you what happened in the last episode if you don't watch, this girl emma is dating this really hot guy paul (who used to be really ugly but now he's like BAM hot) but she kind of had a thing for his best friend sean. so emma told paul about it, and he got really pissed (obviously). the next day the principal (aka paul's mom) got a tip that sean had pot in his locker. so she searched and it was there and sean got expelled even though he said it wasn't his (pfft, who would believe him) so then emma was talking to sean and he said he thought that paul did it, so after school paul went up to emma and appologized for freaking out, and she forgave him, and they started talking about sean and emma said that he thought paul did it, and paul said he didn't. so then it went to sean who was in a garage working on a csr with this other dude, and the other dude said he should race paul, so he did but when he hit the nos he lost control and hit someone. and sean went to jail cause he's 18, and paul got house arrest and comunity service cause he's 17 i think. so today i was watching, and paul found his keys that his mom hid, and he was going to drive emma home, but she got kind of mad so she left, but after she told him to go to the mascarade party. so he bought her this really cool mast and left it in her locker. so at the dance he had to dress as a gorilla. so she was talking to this girl and told her that paul bought her the mask and left it in her locker and the girl was like ' you told him your combination? ' and emma said ' no? ' then she took paul to her locker and took off his mask and told him to open her locker and he said he needed the combination and she said ' i thought you had it ' and he said he wrote it down and she was like ' from where? ' and he explained that his mom had them all in her office and he got it there. and she asked if he planted the pot in sean's locker and he said that what he did was to keep him together. and she left him?! like wtf?! sean is a loser anyway i hate him! and paul is sweet, and really hot! ugh, kay i know it's probably not that new. but still i just saw it.

kay so the tittle, it's pretty simple. i realized i loose intrest in guys pretty fast. so i guess that things have to be intresting for me to stay around ahaha. idk it's weird :P

kay well no songs, pictures, or quotes today, sorry.

laura.xx !